When I was pregnant with my first child, I had only one big wish for the daughter or son on the way: a child with great confidence. I wasn’t sure if confidence was something you were born with or that is nurtured or a bit of both. I just knew that I hadn’t had an abundance of confidence and it was something that took time to grow within me. My husband, Jim, on the other hand, was blessed with great confidence, so I knew he would be a wonderful influence.
When Devon was born, her strength of spirit was evident from the start. Curious, centered and beautiful in every way — characteristics that describe her today as a young adult already on her own. Friends described her as an ‘old soul’ even before she was a teen. With her confidence and strong spirit, we went through the mother-daughter ‘separation’ years early and now are great friends there for each other and learning from each other.
And then Jeffrey came along. At two months, he was diagnosed with low-tone cerebral palsy, and as time went on, his severe language delays were evident along with autistic-type behaviors. Self-confidence was not our focus, but rather grappling with what it would mean for him perhaps to never be able to talk and how to ensure he was safe.
Thankfully, we met one of the brightest stars in Jeffrey’s constellation of advisors and friends: Dr. Ann Parker, developmental pediatrician. Dr. Parker recognized Jeffrey’s endearing qualities from the start, and she helped us to see that our primary goal for Jeffrey was to enable him to see he is part of a community that loves and appreciates him. With this guidance, over time, we eased up on focusing on educational goals but rather life goals with community as our true north for Jeffrey.
I recently spoke with another bright star in Jeffrey’s life, Amy Haught…his speech pathologist for the past 17 years. We talked about building Jeffrey’s decision-making abilities. She was very confident that he could develop those skills because of his ‘strong sense of self’ which she described that he has had for years. Our conversation reminded me of another inspiring star, Robert Marzio, who was Jeffrey’s behavior therapist about 7 years ago. Robert described, “Jeffrey has as certain kind of sense of humor, a sense of interacting with the world that I think makes a lot of sense to him. He has a lot of integrity that way.”
Thinking back, I believe it’s this integrity and sense of himself, and yes, confidence, that makes Jeffrey so endearing and energizing to be around. He lives life to the fullest without any regrets. As my friend, Rich Kuepper says about leaders, they “Play full out” at work and in life, and that’s exactly what Jeffrey does every day to win the hearts of his friend and his community.
Constellation Community Living 
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